Leah Part 4

1 month later





Finding out i have cancer hasnt fully sunk in, there are times where i look at myself in the mirror and just stare. i dont cry anymore, i have to be strong for my mother, and i dont have the strength to even try. so far i've been living each day like nothing happened, and no one knows about my situation. i attend school on a regular basis, finished up my finals, and even met a guy.

i was walking to school, and it was getting hot, so i decided to stop and srop my bag on the floor to put my hair up. i looked up and looked back down and realize my bag was gone, i started getting nervous because of my phone. excuse me miss, you shouldnt leave your bag on the floor like that, beautiful girls tend to be a victim of robbery. i looked up and saw him, he had my bag in his hand and i just wanted to punch him in the face. i only did it so i could talk to you, you are really pretty, im david by the way, can i get your name? i just stared at the guy like he was crazy, but i thought, why not i might end up dead. hi, im Leah and next time you want to talk to a girl, just tap her shoulder, cause by taking my bag and then revealing your self i could have easily slapped and or kill you. ended that sentence with a sarcastic smile, snatch back my bag and kept walking. now i must say this guy was persistant and somehow with me walking and him talking we exchanged numbers.

2 months later

he deals with drugs, he sells, them and use them. how could i have missed that? how could i be so blind to not realize my own boyfriend is a drug dealer? but im still with him...why? it doesnt effect our relationship, thats his buisness not mine, and he doesnt involve me in it. besides that everything is going fine, i feel healthy, and i just feel loved. my mom is there for me 24/7 but it doesnt annoy me, and my friends have been supportive through out everything. david, though with his bad side he has been amazing, and i couldnt have it any way.

next day

Me being happy is not meant for me..i woke up this morning bleeding, again. was rushed to the hospital, and the doctor said my cancer is getting worst. if i dont take treatment i would even live pass the summer. how do you point blank say that to a 13 year old girl? what is your problem? i cant die i just cant, im not going to, i dont want no damn treatment, im going to fight this my way. my mom started crying and was trying to calm me down. no this is bullshit, i was fine and healthy for the past 3 months and i'll be damned of i wont be healthy for the next years of my life...if i die you can be sure i wont die now. with that i told everyone to get out. i picked up my phone...baby, yea im fine...no im okay, you still doing what you doing?...ok good...no...yea...i'm in.

Leah Part 3

beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep

Where am i? whats going on? waking up to a unpleasant hospital moniter is not something a person wants to go through. i woke up to a white wall room, with no one around me. i saw tubes, and flowers. i freaked. MOOOM!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE...SOMEONE PLEASE...MOM.. the nurse came and injected me, pain killers, started to numb, and feel good. my eyes started to close...i fell asleep.

4 hours later

honesy, wake up, its mommy, come on sweetie, wake up. my eyes started to open and i saw my mom, she looked as if she was crying. cough cough, mom, what happened? she looked at me for about 5 minutes. she kept opening and closing her mouth. babygirl, you...sigh...you have cervical cancer and the tears burst out, not only from her eyes but from mine. i cant, im only 13, mom, dont joke...i cant have c.c.cancer. my mind kept going back and forth, i just entered highschool, i had friends, i'm 13 goddamn it and i have cancer.

The day i found out of my disease, i just looked at my mother, i could fight this and live, but i know she will think the worst. i looked up some infomation on cervical cancer, its the 5th most common deadliest cancer in woman. world wide 253,500 death per year, 473,000 estimated. nearly half of them died, which half am i going to be?

Leah part 2

It was a normal day, i woke up and saw the sun light through my windows. I got up as usual, went to the bathroom and showered. I came out and there she was, looking back at me, my own reflection, sigh well this is as good as i'll ever get. i walked into my room and continue to get dress, today i had a final and even though i studied like a maniac the entire week, i felt unprepared. I had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, but with my mentality i just passed it off as butterflies. Mom, i'm leaving, dont know how long it'll be so call me if you need anything. the relationship i have with my mom is more of a friendship which i enjoy because i have more freedom, she trusts me and she has no reason not to. i am an A student, i am never late, always do what i'm told, basically the "perfect" child. Alright babe, becareful, love you. Off i went, walking my usual way to school, and i finally reached it the block where i got off the bus. All of a sudden a pain in my stomach stopped me in my track. Nothing hit me, but i felt something so strong, like i was getting stabbed, and i just sat down. i felt something warm, i looked down and realized blood dripping down my legs, but not menstrual blood, blood like something is wrong with me blood, i closed my eyes and blacked out.

Leah Intro

Her name was Leah Lopez, her friends called her LeLo. she was average looking, nothing special about her except her eyes. though they were dark brown, it was something about them that would make a person stop and take a second look. They were deep, not physically, but emotionally. Her eyes, she felt was her biggest flaw, because though she was a mystery to everyone around her, she knew they gave off some type of fear. her past was incredibly painful, and she would never trust another man again. its because of her eyes he did the things he did, and she saw the things she saw. Her eyes as deep as they are, as myterious as she may seem, she lived a life that wasnt normal. She never cried through those eyes, it would show weakness and she wasnt weak. She became someone else after her experience, and her eyes no longer had the same deep look. This is the story of a girl whose eyes brought her to him and whose eyes brought her to a life she hated.

Obsessed

he sat and waited...
pictures of her were drawn and placed in frames
letters written in blood to show his affection
he loved her to much that he hated her
she didnt want nothing more then a friendship
he wanted her and everything involving her
obessed with her beauty, and personality
living life to be with her and only her
but his vision of destiny far from hers
nothing will ever happen between them
but he sees it differently
counting the days til he taste her lips
waiting for the moments he can spend with her
losing his insanity along the way
his mind made up of her and love
he becomes like a vampire wanting nothing but her blood
to inhale her neck and to taste her sweet juice
becomes crazed and waits for her....
years gone by and he still waits
he is in love...and its his own love that kills him
tired of waiting...tired of hurting...
gun loaded with silver bullets
release the pain with blood filling his body...
last words "i love you"
the friendship she wanted now gone
with the love he needed...

Where do i Stand?

I never gave you a chance...and it was my fault i admit
but when i did...i dont know if i wasnt clear enough
u like you ...there i said it..but you already knew
now im stuck here thinking...and thinking
i was there when issues came up with your girl
i was there when death threats came your way
i was there....
were you that blind?
are you that stupid?
did you honestly think i wanted to just be a friend?
did you honestly think i stayed up with you on the phone...just to be a friend?
i told you time and again...i am here for you...no matter what...'
but we got to a point where i couldnt do anymore
i was catching feelings quick and let you go
but as easily as i did..you came back...
you said you care...no you dont...
cause you didnt even tell me about your new girl...until just now..
what was this? when was this? who is she? how the hell?
i hate you...i cannot trust you...again...
you care? are you sure? cause you've broken my heart twice...
where do i stand?
you said i'm a good friend but then you feel a connection
where do i stand....cause if i stay in this same place i'm gonna go crazy
im going to lose it..
but if i end up in the friend zone...i dont mind...but i'll hate you..with everything in me
thats it...i'm done

Hate

a word that is so small yet mean so much to people
i remember the days when that word was all i knew about
i hated my sister for choosing her friends over me
i hated my father for never saying i love you
i hated my mother for not letting me grow
i hated my brother for not realizing and opening his eyes
i hated my cousins for being better looking then i was
i hated my school for lack of teachers
i hated him...for breaking my heart
i hated him for forcing me to do things i didnt want to do
i hated him for saying i love you
i hated him for never coming to see me
i hated him for being my bestfriend
i hated him for dying
i hated her because she left and we werent ready
i hated her because she knew how much i needed her
i hated them because they were the reasons why i could never be happy
i hated myself...because i hated everything that made me miserable
i spent my days hating and not realizing that i was wasting my life away
i became everything i hate....miserable, lonely, a girl who felt the world should end
because she wasnt happy, she wasnt the same girl she used to be, she wasnt herself
hate is a small world...but it can destroy a life